Rom Com

Chantz, by Tim Rayborn: New queer urban fantasy! #Giveaway

Chantz - Tim Rayborn

Tim Rayborn has a new queer urban fantasy out (bi, lesbian)
Qwyrk Tales book 3: Chantz.

Qwyrk can’t get a break. Spring is springing, but she’s stuck breaking up drunken faery fights as Beltane approaches. She really wants to take things to the next level with her possibly-probably-girlfriend Holly, but she keeps coming down with a chronic case of chickening out.

And now, her best human friend, Jilly Pleeth, has had a rather odd encounter. While attending a concert by her favorite band, the Mystic Wedding Weasels, Jilly was amazed by their enigmatic singer, Chantz. There’s something downright magical about her voice, something so magical that an evil force from outside this world wants her for nefarious reasons. But will Chantz succumb to its lure?

Chantz is the third in a series of four novels about the comic misadventures of a group of misfits at the edge of normal reality in modern northern England, a world of shadows, Nighttime Nasties, eldritch screaming horrors, appalling neo-Shakespearean sonnets, undead corvids, an abundance of verbal sparring, and… Qwyrk is not an elf, all right? They’re just silly!

Universal Buy Link


Giveaway

Tim is giving away a $20 Amazon gift card with this tour:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Direct Link: http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/b60e8d47279/?


Excerpt

After a few minutes of meandering on campus, she found a rather expansive and tree-filled enclosure marked by a sign reading “Welcome to St. George’s Field.” Seeing as she could lose herself in its trees, this place would suffice. Wandering in, she found herself strolling through a historic cemetery, which appealed to her gothy aesthetic sensibilities. She sat herself down on a stone bench not far from some centuries-old headstones and tried to focus, to think, to something.

She closed her eyes, trying to recall the feeling of the power flowing through her.

“What are you?” she whispered.

For a time, she felt nothing. Sighing in frustration, she opened her eyes. The field was mercifully unpopulated today, so she decided to risk singing a little tune, an old Irish folk song. She couldn’t remember where she’d learned it. She couldn’t remember much of anything before the last couple of years, to be honest. But there it was, stuck in her head, so she called on it.

It was a simple melody with a short verse and a chorus. She didn’t even know all the words, but that didn’t matter. She just sang the bit she knew over and over. It was soothing, comforting, and connected her to something, as if stirring a memory. She closed her eyes again, allowing it to wash over her. For the first time in a while, she formed a genuine smile. Not a big smile, mind you, she did have her reputation to think of, after all.

As she neared the third repeat, something happened. She heard a voice in her head, one that contrasted with her own. It was more like a momentary flash of sound, in a language she didn’t recognize. It didn’t make her stop singing; in fact, she wanted to continue. After she sang another verse or two, and she heard it again, like a call across some great gap. But was it far away in the distance? Or maybe in time?

How does that even make any sense?

Intrigued, she kept singing, but lowered her voice so as not to attract any onlookers. It would be just like someone to come up in the middle of it and ruin the whole experience, with their chattiness and insipid curiosity.

As it turned out, she was indeed interrupted, but not by any passersby who should have been minding their own business. In her mind’s eye, she saw a face. The face of an old woman. She had long, disheveled grey-streaked hair, and her complexion was wan and weathered, with dark shadows under her eyes. There was almost something cool about her. The face was obscured, as if peering through a fog, and Moirin couldn’t gauge its intent. She wasn’t imagining it; her imagination was good, but not this good. The woman opened her mouth as if to say something, but no words emerged, and if she were the one speaking those foreign words, Moirin wouldn’t have understood her, anyway.

The old woman smiled, but it was an odd smile, and not really a happy one, more like sinister grin. She seemed to want something from Moirin. The smile grew bigger and stretched to unnatural proportions. Her eyes began to lighten, not just the pupils, but the whole of her eyes, greying at first and then fading into a milky white.

Moirin’s heart raced. She stopped singing and gasped. Whatever this thing was, she wanted nothing to do with it. She tried to open her eyes, but they were heavy, almost as if she’d been drugged. Her ears seemed to close up, and the world around her disappeared. She shook her head and tried to stand up, but just like her eyes, her legs no longer worked. She started to panic and opened her mouth again, not to sing but to scream, shout for help, something. But no sound escaped.

The face sneered at her, perhaps enjoying her helplessness. It became ever more twisted and grotesque and opened its mouth again, almost in mockery of Moirin’s inability to do so. A low-pitched wailing sounded from the old woman, a mournful call that seemed to portend something awful. It rose in pitch and volume to a full-on cry, a tuneless and wordless plaint that sounded like something out of an older time. It shook Moirin to the core, but the more she heard it, the more it seemed to invite her, to draw her in, even to tempt her. Whatever the ill intent of this creature invading her mind, and however frightening its call, Moirin felt oddly at home. She began to surrender to its lure, to its awful and seductive pull.


Author Bio

Tim Rayborn has written an astonishing number of books over the past several years. He lived in England for quite some time and has a PhD from the University of Leeds, which he likes to pretend means that he knows what he’s talking about. His generous output of written material covers topics such as music, the arts, history, the strange and bizarre, fantasy and sci-fi, and general knowledge.

He’s also an acclaimed musician. He plays dozens of unusual instruments that quite a few people of have never heard of and often can’t pronounce. He has appeared on over forty recordings, and his musical wanderings and tours have taken him across the US, all over Europe, to Canada and Australia, and to such romantic locations as Marrakech, Istanbul, Renaissance chateaux, medieval churches, and high school gymnasiums.

He currently lives in Washington state (where it rains a lot), surrounded by many books and instruments, as well as with a sometimes-demanding cat. He is rather enthusiastic about good wines, and cooking excellent food.

Author Website: https://timrayborn.com/

Author Facebook (Personal): https://www.facebook.com/timrayborn

Author Facebook (Author Page): https://www.facebook.com/TimRaybornMusicandWriting

Author Mastodon: https://mastodon.social/@timrayborn

Author Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rayborn.esoterica/

Author Liminal Fiction: https://www.limfic.com/?s=tim+rayborn&search_type=book_search

Author Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/stores/Tim-Rayborn/author/B00DWY5J8E

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OUT NOW: Love You More (Love You, Maine, Book 3) by Julia Kent (@jkentauthor) #romanticcomedy #romcom #contemporaryromance

Release date: November 10, 2022
Genre: Romantic Comedy, Contemporary Romance
Cover Designer:  Najla Qamber, Qamber Designs (https://www.qamberdesignsmedia.com/)
Audiobook Narrators:  Erin Mallon and Teddy Hamilton (COMING SOON)
Tropes/Themes:  Small Town,

Retailer Description:

Colleen Luview’s love life is cursed. No—really. The small-town nurse is notorious in her touristy mountain community. After every third date she’s ever had, the guy ends up in her emergency room.

She’s untouchable now, and it’s not her fault.

Resolved to branch out and find a way to have a life with a partner, children, meaning, and free from being a love pariah in a town devoted to it, she decides to leave her beloved Love You, Maine—where every day is Valentine’s Day—to find a bigger dating pool.

And a better nickname.

Moore Mottin hates feeling like damaged goods. Married and divorced twice before thirty, he has a fourteen-year-old from a teenage pregnancy, was cheated on during his second wedding, and now even his best friend, Luke Luview, considers him the butt of every bad-luck joke when it comes to love.

When Luke’s sister, Colleen, picks him up from the airport and a freak snowstorm forces them off the road, he rescues her from an icy pond and finds an old hunting cabin for shelter and safety. Vulnerable and shaking, the two give in to long-simmering feelings for each other, but when they’re discovered in the worst way possible, what seemed like a new lease on life turns into a life-altering mess.

Can Moore and Colleen overcome all the obstacles holding them back from a love that’s been in front of their faces all this time?

If you’re looking for a story featuring two star-crossed lovers doomed by unfair reputations, featuring a smooth-talking single dad who runs a jewelry store and his best friend’s sister, set in a small town in New England, with a calico cat named Sandwich, a heroine with a dry wit and a can-do attitude, and a hero who just wants a good relationship with his estranged child and the chance to find permanent love…then this is your book.

Grab a cup of coffee or tea, and maybe some peanut butter for your burger (what? It’s a thing…), and get your happy meter ready as you read the third book (a standalone!) in the Love You, Maine series—where love isn’t just a feeling…it’s a way of life.

✓Standalone
✓One-night stand
✓Forced proximity
✓Best friend’s sister
✓Single dad
… and a calico cat named Sandwich

EXCERPT

Pulling her close, he tried to warm her. They were on the floor, about three feet from the edge of an unmade bed.

“Colleen!” he said sharply. She blinked rapidly, then squeezed his arm.

“I’m not shivering,” she said slowly, slurring. “Nee’ to ge’ warm.”

“I’m trying,” he said, looking at the fire, which thankfully was showing signs of catching. Standing, he scanned the room. A small trunk served as a coffee table, in front of two wood-frame chairs with cheap vinyl cushions.

The chance there were blankets in that trunk was good.

His attention pinged between the trunk and Colleen.

“Sit up,” he ordered her.

“Can’t.”

If he kept her talking, everything would be fine.

“Maybe you just cursed yourself,” he told her, trying to get her goat, get a rise out of her, anything to keep her talking.

“Huh?”

“Third Date Colleen. Never thought you’d end up in your own ER after a third date.” He lifted the lid of the trunk.

She blew a laugh through her nose. “Too far away from Luview for me to be in the ER.”

Score! Two big feather-down comforters, both of them a cream color with a patina that spoke more to their age than to a color palette at a textile factory. His fingers screamed as he gripped the thick, soft fabric, but he grabbed the top one and brought it to her, covering her.

As he started to wrap himself in the other one, he realized he was still soaking wet.

So was she.

Thin hints of warmth began to creep out of the tiny woodstove and he turned his attention to the fire again, blowing on it lightly, then checking the flue.

Whew. All was well. He added a few small pieces of wood he found littering the backside of the woodstack and hoped the fire would continue to take.

“I’m cold. Wet. Brain slow. Mouth slower,” Colleen whispered, with a tiny smile.

“Since when do you have a slow mouth?”

“Moore.”

His stomach dropped. Looking down at her, his down comforter on his shoulders, he panicked. Stress flooded him like he was underwater again, fumbling for her seatbelt, her life in his hands.

BUY LINKS

Amazon US:  https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B09WLZ7T4H

Amazon UK:  https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B09WLZ7T4H

Amazon AU:  https://www.amazon.com.au/gp/product/B09WLZ7T4H

Amazon CA:  https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B09WLZ7T4H

Apple Books:  https://books.apple.com/us/book/love-you-more/id1616025157

Kobo:  https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/love-you-more-17

Nook:  https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/love-you-more-julia-kent/1141629132?ean=2940186715801

Google Play:  https://play.google.com/store/books/details?id=kL5rEAAAQBAJ&PAffiliateID=1101l8zJ

Print:  https://www.amazon.com/Love-You-More-Julia-Kent/dp/1638800669/

Website:  https://jkentauthor.com/books/love-you-maine/love-you-more/

BookBub:  https://www.bookbub.com/books/love-you-more-love-you-maine-book-3-by-julia-kent

Goodreads:  https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/59694722-love-you-more

Author Bio:

New York Times and USA Today bestselling author Julia Kent writes romantic comedy with an edge. Since 2013, she has sold more than 2 million books, with 4 New York Times bestsellers and more than 21 appearances on the USA Today bestseller list. Her books have been translated into French, German, and Italian, with more titles releasing in the future.

From billionaires to BBWs to new adult rock stars, Julia finds a sensual, goofy joy in every contemporary romance she writes. Unlike Shannon from Shopping for a Billionaire, she did not meet her husband after dropping her phone in a men’s room toilet (and he isn’t a billionaire she met in a romantic comedy).

She lives in New England with her husband and three children where she is the only person in the household with the gene required to change empty toilet paper rolls.

She loves to hear from her readers by email at [email protected], on Twitter @jkentauthor, on Facebook at @jkentauthor, and on Instagram @jkentauthor. Visit her at http://jkentauthor.com

Social Media Links:

Website:  http://jkentauthor.com/
Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/jkentauthor/
Twitter:  https://twitter.com/jkentauthor
Newsletter:  http://bit.ly/2PIBi9n
Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/jkentauthor/
BookBub:  https://www.bookbub.com/authors/julia-kent
Goodreads:  https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/3238619.Julia_Kent
Amazon Author Page:  https://www.amazon.com/Julia-Kent/e/B00A99V268/

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NEW RELEASE: The Wedding Laughbox (Laughbox Boxed Sets, Book 3) by Julia Kent (@jkentauthor) #romanticcomedy #romcom #contemporaryromance

Release date: November 8, 2022
Genre: Romantic Comedy, Contemporary Romance
Cover Designer:  Angela Jenks
Tropes/Themes:  Weddings, Runaway Bride, Bridezilla, Momzilla, Bridesmaids, Honeymoons, Friends and Family

Retailer Description:

The Wedding Laughbox contains FIVE full-length novels and ONE ALL NEW NOVELLA! – from a variety of New York Times bestselling romantic comedy author Julia Kent’s series.

It’s wedding season, and what’s better than a wedding in rom com style?

Julia Kent’s madcap style, that is.

How about a campground double wedding with three grooms and two brides? (What? Yep…) Or a billionaire and his betrothed escaping their own wedding to flee to Vegas? Paparazzi galore and a stubborn father of the groom ruining a CEO’s planned nuptials until he takes matters into his own hands and does love his way? A disgruntled older sister watching her sister find wedded bliss and maybe, just maybe, finding her own love with a rival billionaire?

With five different stories you get bridezillas, momzillas — even a billionaire dadzilla – with over-the-top fun and lush, luxurious settings, all wrapped up in community, connection, and loads of fun.

This boxed set includes:

Shopping for a Billionaire’s Wife
Shopping for a CEO’s Wife
It’s Always Complicated
Random Acts of Love
Hasty

And Tasty, an ALL NEW novella featuring Will and Mallory from the book Fluffy, as they go on their honeymoon and discover that life is nothing but a series of coincidences as their past comes back to haunt them with hilarious results.

Sink into SIX humor-filled books that pour you into wedding planning, bachelorette and bachelor parties, give you all the wedding jitters and proud family moments, all wrapped up in a huge boxed set you can sink into and find your way to long-term love.

Note: each of these books can be read as a standalone, but they are part of larger series. All of my Laughbox boxed sets are designed to give readers a taste of my books, centered on a specific concept (in this case, weddings). Full disclosure for readers.

Excerpt:

From Shopping for a Billionaire’s Wife

“Seriously, Dec? We just fled a thousand-person wedding in our honor and all you can think about is getting above the garter?”

His confusion just increases. “Yes,” he answers honestly.

I throw my hands in the air, whacking some sort of strap that stretches behind my shoulder. It begins to flap in the wind as we race toward whatever landing strip we’ll use to disembark. As it fut-fut-futs against my veil, I realize the wind isn’t whipping the long, white lace behind me. When we crawled into the helicopter and Declan put on my harness, he tucked my veil in.

I love him so much.

Buy Links: 

Amazon US:  https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0BDJ6N5JX/

Amazon UK:  https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B0BDJ6N5JX/

Amazon AU:  https://www.amazon.com.au/gp/product/B0BDJ6N5JX/

Amazon CA:  https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B0BDJ6N5JX/

Apple Books:  https://books.apple.com/us/book/the-wedding-laughbox/id6443371428

Kobo:  https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/the-wedding-laughbox

Nook:  https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-wedding-laughbox-julia-kent/1142465749?ean=2940186697930

Google Play:  https://play.google.com/store/books/details/Julia_Kent_The_Wedding_Laughbox?id=csSHEAAAQBAJ

Website:  https://jkentauthor.com/books/book-bundles/

BookBub:  https://www.bookbub.com/books/the-wedding-laughbox-laughbox-boxed-sets-book-3-by-julia-kent

Goodreads:  https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/62575614-the-wedding-laughbox

Author Bio:

New York Times and USA Today bestselling author Julia Kent writes romantic comedy with an edge. Since 2013, she has sold more than 2 million books, with 4 New York Times bestsellers and more than 21 appearances on the USA Today bestseller list. Her books have been translated into French, German, and Italian, with more titles releasing in the future.

From billionaires to BBWs to new adult rock stars, Julia finds a sensual, goofy joy in every contemporary romance she writes. Unlike Shannon from Shopping for a Billionaire, she did not meet her husband after dropping her phone in a men’s room toilet (and he isn’t a billionaire she met in a romantic comedy).

She lives in New England with her husband and three children where she is the only person in the household with the gene required to change empty toilet paper rolls.

She loves to hear from her readers by email at [email protected], on Twitter @jkentauthor, on Facebook at @jkentauthor, and on Instagram @jkentauthor. Visit her at http://jkentauthor.com

Social Media Links:

Website:  http://jkentauthor.com/

Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/jkentauthor/

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/jkentauthor

Newsletter:  http://bit.ly/2PIBi9n

Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/jkentauthor/

BookBub:  https://www.bookbub.com/authors/julia-kent

Goodreads:  https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/3238619.Julia_Kent

Amazon Author Page:  https://www.amazon.com/Julia-Kent/e/B00A99V268/

 

Release blitz organized by Writer Marketing Services.

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OUT NOW—The Proposal Laughbox (Laughbox Boxed Sets, Book 2) by Julia Kent (@jkentauthor) #RomCom

The Proposal Laughbox contains THREE full-length novels and TWO novellas – ONE ALL NEW! – from New York Times bestselling romantic comedy author Julia Kent’s series.

Who doesn’t love a funny, heartwarming proposal? Diamond engagement rings, flowers, candy, romantic dinners — it’s all in here in rom com style.

Julia Kent’s madcap style, that is.

Future brides swallow engagement rings, paparazzi crash tender moments when billionaires pop the question, mistaken identity causes mayhem, small-town lumberjacks ask their girfriends for their hands in marriage, and rock stars make grand gestures on New Year’s Eve.

Laugh, swoon, blush and let your imagination heat up as you read across varying series, different heat levels, but all connected by love.

This boxed set includes:

Shopping for a Billionaire’s Fiancée

Random Acts of New Year

Shopping for a CEO’s Fiancée (A USA Today bestseller)

Random Acts of Yes

and an ALL NEW novella, Love You Fiancée, featuring Kell and Rachel from Love You Right, as Kell pops the question during the I Will Always Love You festival in his hometown of “Love You,” Maine – where every day is Valentine’s Day.

Sink into five fun books that leave you with all the feels, loads of laughs, and strange looks from people around you as you read, giggle, and fall in love.

Note: each of these books can be read as a standalone, but they are part of larger series. All of my Laughbox boxed sets are designed to give readers a taste of my books, centered on a specific concept (in this case, proposals and engagements). Full disclosure for readers.

EXCERPT

From Love You Fiancée

He guided Rachel away from the gazebo, over to an old and dappled beech tree.

“Does the world feel different to you now, Kell?” she asked. “How can a few words make everything change so much? I feel it, too. It’s as if we unleashed a force of energy we didn’t know was out there. No one tells you this! All the articles on engagements and proposals and what to expect and what to do…” She took in a deep breath. “But no one talks about this, this feeling, this charge between the two of us…”

“Maybe they don’t talk about it because they don’t feel it. Maybe it’s that unique.”

She just blinked, once and then twice, the seconds passing as if all he were meant to do was share this space with her.

Nothing else mattered. Nothing else existed. Just the two of them, talking about how their love had exposed a secret aspect of existence.

You know. Everyday stuff.

BUY LINKS: 

 Amazon US:  https://www.amazon.com/Proposal-Laughbox-Boxed-Sets-Book-ebook/dp/B0B4MSM9XM/

Amazon UK:  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Proposal-Laughbox-Boxed-Sets-Book-ebook/dp/B0B4MSM9XM/

Amazon AU:  https://www.amazon.com.au/Proposal-Laughbox-Boxed-Sets-Book-ebook/dp/B0B4MSM9XM/

Amazon CA:  https://www.amazon.ca/Proposal-Laughbox-Boxed-Sets-Book-ebook/dp/B0B4MSM9XM/

Apple Books:  https://books.apple.com/us/book/the-proposal-laughbox/id6443007900

Kobo:  https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/the-proposal-laughbox

Nook:  https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-proposal-laughbox-julia-kent/1141675800?ean=2940185730058

Website:  https://jkentauthor.com/books/book-bundles/

BookBub:  https://www.bookbub.com/books/the-proposal-laughbox-laughbox-boxed-sets-book-2-by-julia-kent

Goodreads:  https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/61371661-the-proposal-laughbox

Author Bio:

New York Times and USA Today bestselling author Julia Kent writes romantic comedy with an edge. Since 2013, she has sold more than 2 million books, with 4 New York Times bestsellers and more than 21 appearances on the USA Today bestseller list. Her books have been translated into French, German, and Italian, with more titles releasing in the future.

From billionaires to BBWs to new adult rock stars, Julia finds a sensual, goofy joy in every contemporary romance she writes. Unlike Shannon from Shopping for a Billionaire, she did not meet her husband after dropping her phone in a men’s room toilet (and he isn’t a billionaire she met in a romantic comedy).

She lives in New England with her husband and three children where she is the only person in the household with the gene required to change empty toilet paper rolls.

She loves to hear from her readers by email at [email protected], on Twitter @jkentauthor, on Facebook at @jkentauthor, and on Instagram @jkentauthor. Visit her at http://jkentauthor.com

Social Media Links:

Website:  http://jkentauthor.com/

Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/jkentauthor/

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/jkentauthor

Newsletter:  http://bit.ly/2PIBi9n

Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/jkentauthor/

BookBub:  https://www.bookbub.com/authors/julia-kent

Goodreads:  https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/3238619.Julia_Kent

Amazon Author Page:  https://www.amazon.com/Julia-Kent/e/B00A99V268/

Release blitz organized by Writer Marketing Services.

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Free Rom-Com—Shopping for a Billionaire by Julia Kent (@jkentauthor) #MFRWAuthor #FreeDownload



Free Rom-Com—Shopping for a Billionaire (Book 1, Shopping for a Billionaire series) by Julia Kent (@jkentauthor)

Author: Julia Kent

Release Date:  June 2, 2014

Genre: Romantic Comedy, Contemporary Romance

Description:

When mystery shopper Shannon Jacoby meets billionaire Declan McCormick with her hand down a toilet in the men’s room of one of his stores, it’s love at first flush in this hilarious new romantic comedy from New York Times bestselling author Julia Kent.

Buy links:

iBooks➜ http://apple.co/2oXQSNi

BN/Nook➜ http://bit.ly/2owPTWn

Kobo➜ http://bit.ly/2DJqFe5

Google Play➜ http://bit.ly/2BaBq6j

Amazon US➜ http://amzn.to/2owfjn0

Amazon UK➜ http://amzn.to/2oDUPrW

Amazon CA➜ http://amzn.to/2FEKbJz

Amazon AU➜ http://amzn.to/2F4hAMH

Print➜ http://amzn.to/2F0BrfH

Goodreads➜ http://bit.ly/2oHfpaL

Audible➜ http://amzn.to/2oBNLvU

iTunes➜  https://apple.co/2owHgeG

Author Bio:

New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author Julia Kent writes romantic comedy with an edge. From billionaires to BBWs to new adult rock stars, Julia finds a sensual, goofy joy in every contemporary romance she writes. Unlike Shannon from Shopping for a Billionaire, she did not meet her husband after dropping her phone in a men’s room toilet (and he isn’t a billionaire). She lives in New England with her husband and three sons in a household where the toilet seat is never, ever, down

Social Media Links:

Website:  http://jkentauthor.com/

Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/jkentauthor/

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/jkentauthor

Excerpt

Whoosh! Whoosh! I flush both urinals, then rush over to toilet #1. Whoosh! I stand in front of the stall to #2 and get ready to flush that one.

I’m in my own little world and let my guard down to ponder the question. I am also exhausted and most definitely not in top form, because I let a few seconds go by before realizing that someone is coming in the bathroom. Out of the corner of my eye I see a business shoe, and that becomes a blur as I scurry into one of the stalls and shut the door.

Heart pounding, I stare at the dented back of the stall door. Then I look down. Chipped red nail polish peeks up at me from my open-toed navy shoe. Aside from being outed as a transgendered person in here, there’s no plausible reason why any men’s room stall occupant should have red toenails.

I quickly scramble to perch myself on the toilet, feet planted firmly on either side of the rim, squatting over the open bowl like I am giving birth. Because I am genetically incapable of balance—ever—and as my heart slams against my chest so hard it might as well be playing a djembe, I lean carefully forward with one arm against the back of the stall door, the other clutching my phone.

The unmistakable sound of a man taking a whizz echoes through the bathroom. I can’t help myself and look through the tiny crack in the door.

It’s Mr. Sex in a Suit, his back to me. Thank goodness, because if I got a full-frontal shot right now, then how would I answer the “aesthetically pleasing” question from a strictly professional standpoint?

The tiny bit of shifting I do to peer through the crack makes my right foot slip, and I make a squeaking sound, then lose my grip on my phone as my arm flails.

Ka-PLUNK!

You know that sound, right? I know, and you know, that I’ve just dropped my smartphone in the toilet, but he thinks the man—he assumes it’s a man—in here just delivered something the size of a two-hundred-year-old turtle into the toilet.

I look down. My phone is still glowing, open to the question “Is the bathroom aesthetically pleasing?”

 

Blitz organized by Writer Marketing Services.

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Erotic Romance “Seducing Cat is a Must Read…Hot in all the right places!”

Love Bites and Silk Ties
Romantic Suspense: Mystery and Romance are woven well in The Painter is a Lady.

Romantic Suspense: “The Unmasking is a fascinating tale…some emotionally trying scenes.”

Erotic Romance FFM Menage: “Edgy characters, inclusive sexuality…The Reunion is not for the faint of heart.”

Erotic Romance FFM Menage: “The intimacy is genuine and breathtaking”

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